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Create Immediate Connection with People

[Structure Supports Flow]

It breaks my heart when I see it. Missed connections, missed opportunities to help and collaborate.

What I’m talking about is what people say in answer to the knee-jerk and narrow question “What do you do?”

Typically, most people will say something along the lines of “I do hypnotherapy,” “I’m in finance” or “I’m a business coach.”

Notice how it’s “I do” or “I’m in” or “I am”? It’s ALL focused on what the person does, not how the person solves a problem as a service for someone else.

Beyond, “That’s nice,” or “Cool,” there isn’t that much to say. I always try to follow up asking for them to tell me more, because I’m genuinely curious, but most people aren’t like me in this regard.

Usually, then I hear about their certifications and training, way before it’s time. I’m left knowing little more about this person than job title and credentials.

Most of the time, these “I” statements stop the conversation dead, or more accurately, prevent a conversation from starting.

When I watch these conversations fail to get off the ground, the polite side of me thinks, “Oops, another opportunity lost.” When I am in a feistier mood, I yell to myself, “You’re doing it wrong!!!” (Just like in the movie “Mr. Mom” when the Dad is driving the wrong way in the school drop off lane and gets yelled at by the school traffic cop.)

Why does this matter?

First of all, without a structured framework focused at the very beginning of the conversation about what clients can do or be with a product or service – the benefits – what is shared tends to fall flat and it’s not “sticky,” memorable and intriguing.

The following article does a fantastic job of simply explaining the whole “benefits vs. features” thing you may have heard about, but not really fully understand.

People Don’t Buy Products They Buy Better Versions of Themselves

This is an excellent graphic from the article that illustrates why articulating the benefits is so powerful:

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the product or service you offer is the only key to your relationship. What IS key is how your product changes the client’s life, relationships or bank account.

Remember, that’s the person who can now do rad stuff because they met you.

Call it relationship capital if you want, but it’s the difference between your education or credentials being seen as your bragging, or being evaluated by a potential client or partner as a key data points in building trust and credibility.

Try this out, and while you do, notice how you feel and what you think when you witness this kind of conversation – at events, parties, back-to-school night, yoga – wherever.

Let me know what you discover – drop me a note at sarah@sparklingresultscoaching.com.

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