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The Mindset Behind Relationship Building Online or Off

It’s about them, not you.

Getting to know people does not mean selling to people.

Not yet at least.

Here’s the thing. At the very beginning not about selling YET, and it may NEVER be.

But I hear so often that folks don’t like talking or interacting with people about their business because it feels sales-y.

When I dig into this with clients, they say they don’t want to talk about what they do and have to convince someone to sign up.

If that’s you, listen up because that is only going to get worse because if you’re worried about being sales-y, you will come across as sales-y to other people.

(It’s one of those which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg types of things.)

You’ve got to shift that belief of “if I tell people about my work, they’ll think I’m selling to them” to “I tell people about my work so they know what I do.”

It’s about communication at this point, not selling.

It’s about them understanding what you do in a way they can easily grasp so they can connect whether they or someone they know needs you.

That’s it.

What is more, if you’re serious about finding clients, this initial conversation is not about YOU at all.

You’re focused on them, who they are, what they need and what they want. You ask questions, you show a genuine interest in who they are and LISTEN intentionally.

You’re listening to cues that they need what you have.

You’re listening for what they need that someone you know has.

You’re listening to see if they’re business may have a similar clientele as yours.

If they’re a potential client, they’ll make that clear through what they say and no, they wont say “I want to hire you to help me” right there and then.

But seemingly out of the blue they’ll tell you about the ways they’re struggling with exactly what you can help them with.

When that happens, it’s time to invite them into a deeper conversation with you to continue the conversation.

And even then, except in some really obvious and RARE cases, it’s STILL not time to talk sales.

Have that deeper conversation and really get to know them, only then will you know for SURE if it’s time to invite them into a Sales Conversation.

But at the start, online or offline, it’s ABOUT THEM, NOT YOU. Focus on their needs and desires, and don’t focus on the sale. The sale will happen naturally IF it’s aligned.


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