[Structure Supports Flow]

The Structures that Support Flow help us feel good, at least more often than we once did. By using the Structures, we are more capable of running our lives, instead of our lives running us.

But there is one key result of incorporating structures that support flow that I want to illustrate very clearly. It’s why so many of these Structures Supports Flow Tips are focused on schedules, calendars and time.

These time-based structures help us avoid forgetting things, which is a huge part of having more flow in our lives. When we forget things until the last minute, or a deadline sneaks up on us, it causes a panicky burst of frenetic energy.

And that can be messy. And tiring.

Instead of getting a task done during the time we’ve allotted for it on our calendars, we’re scrambling to squeeze it into our already packed schedules.

What is more, we’re likely to get it done without enough time to do it well, which can lead to mistakes that cost us time, energy and patience.

Since rushing around causes stress, which absolutely does not feel good, the more we prevent the “Oh, no I forgot about that” moments, the better.

After all, there are plenty of surprises in life beyond our control, and if we minimize as much as possible the ones we can control, we’ll have more flow, more of the time. To put it simply, we  feel calmer and we are definitely more effective throughout our days.

The next round of Uncork Your Confidence, my flagship small group program, starts soon. One of the areas we focus on is creating structures customized and tailored just for you – to support your habits, your rhythms and proclivities.

If you know you want some support having more flow in life and business, then let’s explore if what I offer is what you need next. Go to http://talkwithsarah.com and sign up so we can connect.

[Structure Supports Flow]

It has been a few months now since I started writing these Structure Supports Flow tips and I’ve received a ton of great feedback about how much you are getting out of them.

Thank you for reaching out to me, hearing about your big and small shifts and how you’ve put the tips into action in your daily life make me so happy! That’s EXACTLY what I wanted. Yay!

Please keep the emails coming, I love hearing from you all!

On to this week’s tip:

Over the summer, I began to pay attention to a structure that I’d been loosely using and finally incorporated it into my life.

You may have heard about “batching time,” where we group similar tasks or functions into blocks of time and do only that with singular focus. While I’ve been batching my time in short increments for years now, I had yet to batch entire days.

I had been noticing that certain days would be generally focused on a specific function in my business (clients, sales, networking/outreach, marketing, administration). But I was very loose with it, and frankly, wishy-washy.

In anticipation a busy early August this year, I decided to batch my time more rigorously, and set my own boundary about my time clearly to myself and others. This was at the beginning of July, and by late July, I noticed that I was feeling so much more calm and focused.

“Hmm…” I thought to myself, “what did I change recently to create this?” I quickly realized that the only thing new was that I was sticking to my plan to batch my time.

It made such a difference that I’ve been singing the praises of batching time to everyone who will listen ever since.

As an example, here is a general outline of my week:

1. Monday: Admin & Organization / Connection Calls & Coaching for me
2. Tuesday: Sales / Networking
3. Wednesday: Private Client Calls
4. Thursday: Sales / Uncork Your Confidence Clients / Networking
5. Friday: Marketing & Writing / Sales / Admin

I realize that given the nature of your job or your daily duties, batching every day of the week may not be possible for you. However, take a look at Monday or Friday, which tend to be slightly less hectic for most of us, and see how you could schedule 1 or 2 specific functions or projects on that day.

If that still doesn’t seem doable, then start with one specific task and schedule it on your calendar for the same time every day. I’d encourage you to start with your email time and batch it into two time slots, once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

Answering individual emails throughout the day is a complete time drain, and it can take us upwards of 20 minutes to get back on task. This structure alone will help you flow with the projects that take concentration.

And, if you’re ready for the “ninja level,” go ahead and start to batch every day of the week. To do so, think about when you naturally want and like to do certain types of work and then write it down and put it on your calendar.

You could incorporate this in big and small ways, starting from where ever you are now.

Whatever stage you are at, be patient with yourself as you create this new habit. The world we live in is full of distractions that pull at our attention, so it may take a little time to get into the groove of it.

[Structure Supports Flow]

On certain days, when there is a lot going on, I notice thoughts pop into my head at a greater frequency than on quieter days. It’s as though my mind knows how busy I am, and wants to make sure I don’t forget anything.

Thoughts pop up in my head, no matter what I am doing, reminding about meetings on my calendar and items on my to-do list, as well as other things that I don’t have written down anywhere.

I love that this busy mind of mine supports me and wants to help me keep all the balls in the air, but all this reminding can be really distracting when I am trying to focus on the task at hand.

All these fleeting “don’t forget this” thoughts take up a lot of my brain space and can make my head cloudy and muddled.

A few years ago, when I began to notice how insidious this is, I began to hear a little voice in my head right after my mind reminded me of something. “Do it now,” I hear loudly and clearly.

What that means is that my mind is suggesting I either do it right away and get it out of my mental space, or write it down somewhere so my mind recognizes a “to-do” detail has been noted and tracked.

This structure is similar to the rule of thumb that if you can respond to an email in less than 2 minutes, it’s best to do it right away.

For example, I may hear “Don’t forget your notebook today!” and then quickly, I’ll hear “Do it now.” So, I’ll take the 30 seconds needed to grab the notebook and put it in my purse. Or, sometimes it’s “You need to call Julie back,” and since this will take longer than 2-minutes, I’ll write down on my to-do list. 

Then, having dealt with it, my mind stops reminding me about it every 15 minutes and I can be less distracted and flow with what is right in front of me.

Begin to bring this structure into practice for yourself. First and foremost, start to notice your thoughts, what your mind is afraid you’ll forget, and use that reminder to create a trigger in your mind that prompts the next thought to be “Do it now.”

Next, take the action right away: either do it or write it down.

You could say that this exercise is an inside job because much of it happens in your mind. It takes a lot of awareness and diligence at first while you develop the habit but soon enough, you will find it happening automatically.

This is a great way to train your mind to help you in a way that supports your actually getting things done, rather than distracting you with reminders.

If you want to learn how you can use structures to support your flow in your business, I’m opening up my schedule to speak with ONLY 3 people who want to get results that feel good along the way. If one of them is YOU, reply to this email and reserve your spot!

[Structure Supports Flow]

You know that thing (or things) that just seems to never get done, or it’s always the thing that you end up doing at the last minute, in a rush, just trying to get it done as fast as possible? These things can range from simple household tasks to checking my bank statement to a work-related challenge that is just not my favorite thing to do.

Some items on our to-do lists are simply less fun than others. For me, when I have to deal with the less-fun things, it often seems like a better thing to do is something more engaging.

All of this is fine some of the time, but ultimately, that thing is going to need to get accomplished, and I’m only making it harder on myself by putting it off.

I have tried a number of ways to help myself through these times, as my awareness of them has grown.  At times I give myself a reward, only allowing myself to do what I want to do once I do what needs to be done (get a pedicure, call a friend, go to the grocery store, etc).

Rewards work well as incentive, but I noticed that it sometimes took hours. I’d sit down to do it, kind of work on it, get distracted, pull myself back to the task at hand, and repeat.

So I incorporated something I’ve been doing for years when I write, because sometimes it can be hard to get a piece of writing going and staring at a blank page just sucks. What I do is set a timer for 30 – 60 minutes and then just write, no editing, no reading, just get.it.out.

I find it’s easier to do what I am resisting if I know I only have to spend a finite amount of time on it. Instead of the task being daunting and feeling like the whole morning is going to be consumed by this thing that’s not coming easily, it’s like “Okay, I am going to do this one thing with all I’ve got – GO!”    

And guess what? When I do, my energy starts to flow, ideas start popping and I can get a ton done in that small amount of time. What is more, regardless of how much progress I made, a momentum builds that makes it easier to come back the next time and complete it.

At this point, I’ve used method with various tasks –15 minutes to clean the kitchen, 30 minutes to respond to emails, 60 minutes to write these Structure Support Flow tips, etc.

“Setting a Timer” works so well that it has become a structure in my life that supports flow in all areas of my life.

Give this one a try the next time you notice yourself resisting something, or when you realize that a certain thing just isn’t getting your attention.  Use an egg timer or use the timer on your phone, give yourself 30 – 60 minutes – TOPS.

Next, just do the thing with all your GUSTO for that allotted amount of time. When you’re finished, marvel at all you’ve accomplished and then celebrate it. (Celebration is important, don’t skip this step.)

I’d love to hear how you incorporate this into your life. Drop me a note at sarah@sparklingresultscoaching.com and let me know.

We all know we need to take good care of ourselves. We know we should be getting enough sleep, exercise and healthy foods.

Many of us may even be aware we should be meditating regularly, having “alone” or “friend” time on a regular basis and practicing positive affirmations.

I bet you have really great intentions to do it, but how often does that actually happen? Do you actually do what you know you need to do to feel and be your best on a regular basis?

Not so much, right?

While our intentions may be good, taking really good care of ourselves gets overwhelmed by all our commitments, deadlines and caring for others. We end up drained, cranky and impatient, and while we may be going through the motions of work and caring for others, we are certainly not at our best.

You know how on airplanes during the safety talk, they tell us to put our own oxygen mask on first before helping others? If I pass out from lack of oxygen, how am I going to help anyone? The underlying message here – to take care of yourself first, so you can then help others – is loud and clear.

So what’s a busy gal to do?

It may seem counter-intuitive to do so, yet scheduling time in your calendar for self-care practices is a structure that creates amazing amounts of flow. When we’re taking good care of ourselves, we’ll feel happier and it’ll be easier to be flexible and roll with our busy day – whatever it may bring.

If time for self-care is actually on our calendars, the likelihood it will happen increases greatly, and our job is to then protect that time like a terrier with a bone in order to create a habit.

I encourage you to just start, start with scheduling 15 – 30 minutes in your calendar for self-care at least 4 days of the week. This could look like spending time with a friend, getting a massage, going for a run or reading a good book. Anything that makes you feel good!

Bit by bit, you can add to your list of self-care methods and increase the time you spend on you.

If you give this a try, I’d love to hear how you’re doing. Drop me a note at sarah@sparklingresultscoaching.com.

Another thing I hear a lot about from clients and colleagues is the reluctance and resistance to going to networking and other events. They either don’t go at all, or if they do go, it is a super human effort to do so, and once they arrive, they’re really uncomfortable.

This discomfort prevents making genuine connections with others and absolutely zero contacts that could lead to new business.

If you see yourself in this scenario, you can do something about it – you can create your own comfort by bringing a friend or colleague with you. That way, you’ll know at least one other person, and have someone to touch base with throughout the event. This person becomes your structure and helps you be at your best – connected, engaged and articulate.

By having a structure of support, we are more readily able to flow with all that meeting and greeting of new people.

You may be saying to yourself, “Okay, that’s great but what if I don’t have a friend or colleague to bring with me?” First, you probably do have someone in your life who would love to join you. It may not be your closest friend, but someone in your expanded circle would likely jump at the chance, because she’s challenged by these events in the same way you are.

Second, if you really can’t find anyone to go with you, once you are there, create a new friend by connecting with the first person you talk with.

When you walk through the door, take a look around the room and ask yourself, “Who would be best person to connect with first?” Then, walk over to that person with a warm, inviting smile on your face. (Watch yourself here, be sure your smile is not a big, maniacal grin that says “I’m comin’ to getcha”, but a pleasant, open smile).

As you strike up a conversation, do your best to talk about anything BUT work, business or career – at first. Instead, ask them about their life, where they live, their kids, what they do for fun, what makes them happy, etc. Be sure you share about yourself, too, as you would in any new encounter.

At this point, the conversation will naturally flow and you will have made a solid connection with someone who may end up being a great friend, client or supporter. Then for the rest of the event, you’ll have your new friend there, your touchstone who helps you shine.

Give this one a try, it’s a different way to deal with events and make them work for you.  And you may even have fun, too!

You know how many of us have super packed schedules, going from this meeting to that call to that place, to that event? Only to repeat the same the very next day?

That’s a lot of going and doing and rushing without any space to catch our breath or reflect.

When we do not have s p a c e in our schedule, when we are ricocheting from thing to thing, it can create a rushed feeling and cause us to have less patience, less flexibility and less access to our best ideas and our best solutions.

This looks like showing up to pick up your kids running on fumes with little patience or slamming into that important 4 o’clock phone call with your head full of a million unrelated things and unable to be fully present.

Have you been there? Me, too.

When I noticed this, I implemented “Buffer Time” in my schedule before any really important meeting or event where I needed to be at my best.

Buffer Time is scheduling our time with space before and between events, creating a buffer between one activity and the next.

This could look like protecting 15-30 minutes between each event in your calendar of open space, to allow yourself to shift gears and transition to your next activity.

This could look also like adding 30 minutes to a meeting so it appears to start earlier (Pro Tip: Prevent confusion by noting the actual start time in the Event line, e.g. “Pre-Interview Radio Show (10am)” in the calendar starting at 9:30am). This way works especially well if other people have access to your calendar and can schedule any open time you have.

This structure of Buffer Time means that when the kids get in the car or when we get on that important phone call, we have deliberately set ourselves up to be our most present, patient and generous self.

When we are those things, we can more easily roll or flow with any changes, surprises or upsets that may arise. It’s the difference between snapping at your kids and taking a deep breath before you snap.

It means if the person on the important phone call says something that triggers you or hurts your feelings, you can (again) take a deep breath and realize it’s actually not about you, or speak up and clean it up.

These days, I do my best most of the time to have a buffer between nearly everything in my schedule. That doesn’t always happen, but it’s my goal and IF I choose to pack my schedule tightly, I am doing so consciously and deliberately.

Give it a try, even if it is only 5 minutes at first. You will immediately notice you are clearer and more centered, regardless of how busy your day is.

This week’s Structure Supports Flow tip is about our words, what we say, and when we say it. Most of the time, when I meet people at events or parties, I hear one of two things.

I’ve been noticing what my mind does with this information for a while now, and what my brain does is dump it into “silos” called “not for me” and “I don’t get it.”

Give it a try, and watch how much more comfortable you are, and how much more fun you’re having!

Sometimes we get into a phase where every.single.day is planned or scripted, and not just the weekdays. Even weekends aren’t what they used to be, where there was generally less going on, and there was an opportunity to just do the day, without having any plans.

Now, this may sound like an alien concept – having no plans! Imagine, a day when you do not have to be anywhere or do something at a certain time, when you can go with your natural rhythms, that is, doing what feels like the best thing to do – or NOT do, not what you feel you must do.

Some years ago, I began to notice that if I had too long of a stretch without an unscripted day – the whole day – I’d get a little off balance.  I would begin to feel a bit down, my end-of-the-day tiredness seemed to go deeper.

So I instigated “Free Float Days,” for myself, days when I have absolutely nothing on my schedule, so I can do or not do to my heart’s content. 

My Free Float Days certainly don’t happen every week, but I know that I can only go about 3 weeks without a completely open day before my busy schedule (just like yours) starts to affect how I feel.

Establishing such a day takes a little effort, but the most important element in this change of behavior takes my being able to recognize ahead of time that I am over-programmed, before I’m totally drained. That’s the key here – ahead of time.

What I see around me a lot is both women and men going like gangbusters for weeks on end, then collapsing on the couch for a day or two, or longer if they get sick. That’s way too late.

With appointments, kids’ activities, church, etc., you may be thinking “no way I could do that.” But I bet you could – and I bet your family could benefit too – we are ALL over-programmed, even our children. 

One Free Float Day a month or every other month may be just enough for you, while keeping up with all the goings on of life and family.

Begin to notice if you wake up on a Saturday and feel drained just thinking about all the plans for the weekend. If that’s the case, I encourage you to go to your calendar now, and schedule a day soon for a full Free Float Day.

For just one day once and awhile, you and your family can skip a normal day and celebrate ​just being. Normal will return soon enough the next morning.

On this day, you don’t have to do absolutely nothing (although that’s is fine, too). It means there are not any “hard stops,” when you must be somewhere at an exact time.

Instead, if it feels like a good idea to go to the park with your kids, do that or if what you feel like doing is reading a book or weeding your garden, go right ahead. It’s about eliminating the rushing and the “busy” state of mind.

Then, you can experiment with how often you need to have a Free Float Day and see what feels right to you – balancing all the goings-on with days to just float and flow.